Families in Global Transition

A couple of weeks ago I attended a very interesting conference called Families in Global Transit (FIGT). For the first time ever I felt that I belonged here with these people who had had the same life experiences as me. It is said that the three most traumatic events in life are death, divorce and relocation. But here I was in a large gathering of people who made me sound like a rookie having moved ‘only’ 6 times.

 The program was wonderful, designed in the form of presentations, discussions, and kitchen table conversations. Sessions ranged from discussing the trailing spouse , third culture kids (TCKs), ‘good goodbyes’, and a whole bunch of other relevant topics. I learnt that the trailing spouse is redefined! Ladies, we are now the ‘enabling spouses’, making this life which is full of transitions viable and successful for our entire families.

I met a young woman who has started an organization called Sea Change http://seachangementoring.com/. Ellen Mahoney studied in the same school (ISSH) in Tokyo as my daughter. She explained that having grown up in Tokyo, it was tough for her to adjust to college life in the US her country of origin, and she found that her other expat friends from Tokyo were similarly struggling in other parts of the world. After facing many challenges over several years, Ellen was able to redirect her energies into something positive; a program to mentor children in transit. I though that this was a wonderful concept and could do a world of good for TCKs. There was a session on the ‘beloved stranger’, nannies and drivers who become an integral part of our lives when we live in certain countries. Thanks to Facebook and email we can stay in touch with some of them. A common sight in many schools is kids of some ethnicities congregating together at the lunch tables. What explains this phenomenon? In her presentation Danau Tanu explained intercultural dynamics of self segregation and socialization patterns at international schools. Most interesting for me was the potential of global leadership among adult third culture kids.

It was a stimulating experience for me, a window to a whole different world, a feeling of belonging and not isolation. I met many interesting people who had traveled from across the globe to attend this conference.

Two high-school counselors who had traveled from Beijing international school summed it best when they displayed the goodbye kit that they give to departing students. The kit contains among other items, a rubber-band to represent the ability to be elastic in a new place, a band-aid strip to cover up any hurts, an eraser to rub out any mistakes made as a new comer and a balloon to represent enjoyment in a new place.  Look hard enough and you will realize that there many others like yourself, just look in the right places.