LONDON, TOKYO OR NEW YORK........

Often I am asked this question which city did I like the most ? I never thought of these cities with the idea of ranking them according to my preference. Each city is so unique, with such a distinct culture and place in world consciousness; each city is so well-known, much visited that my stating of their ranking seemed redundant. However when I was asked multiple times, I forced myself to think about my complete experience. When you live somewhere, it is such a present moment experience, while grappling with the sweat and tears of a relocation and the thrill of the move, who has time to get a birds-eye view?

 I visited London after I moved out of there after 5 years and I remember thinking, 'what a nice city to visit'. Does that mean that it was not such a great city to live in? That got me thinking about the difference between visiting a place and experiencing it as a resident. 1996 December, London looked like a very elaborate toy-town as the flight came in to land at Heathrow. Arriving in London, the first thrill was that all the names we read off the Monopoly board as kids were real places with grand old structures and train stations. It was all so deceptively familiar and yet so completely alien. We lived initially in a small transit apartment off Hyde Park. Landing on a snowy day in December, the first thing we had to do was to rush off and buy some food as our little daughter was starving and claimed that she could smell daal bhaat as we were driving to our temporary residence from the airport. London was our first posting outside India and we learnt a lot about our host country and about ourselves in the next three years. When we moved to our own house in East Putney shortly, the things that stand out in my memory are the silence so thick that it was deafening, the unbelievable beauty of our neighborhood and the very friendly neighbors. The silence is something we are quite unused to in the busy, bustling, crowded cities and towns of India. A bit of culture clash was bound to occur until we understood and followed some common courtesies and learnt to tackle some rough exteriors among our adopted fellow citizens. I think I encountered several acts of extreme kindness and the occasional rudeness as I did wherever I have lived. Since our daughter was small, we visited Legoland and other play parks a lot. Driving was such fun and the countryside, every bit as spectacular as described in books. Pictures do no justice to the astonishing beauty of the British countryside. London was like a perfect postcard photo, interesting, exciting with infinite possibilities; and yet it never felt like home. We were newbies at the relocation game, I blame it on that!

London to Tokyo, what a transition! Tokyo is Asia and yet overtly very westernized. Over 4 years of my stay there I saw many layers in the society that made it a much more familiar culture.

My daughter's first birthday with the Hinamatsuri set in the background lent by a friend for the occasion.

Japan was as exotic as it gets. This blogpost is too small to even record the myriad experiences and emotions that was Japan. What stands out is how very safe it was! Children as small as 6 could travel alone with out any fear. They just raised their tiny hands and the whole traffic came to a halt to let them cross the road. The food, the culture, the bowing and the sheer gentleness of the place left a very deep impression. Some amusing observations......Japanese citizenry refers to its country as Nihon and themselves as Nihonjin. All official, government documents refer to Japan as Nippon. You will not hear the word Japan in Japan at all! Taxis in Tokyo are a huge contrast from the ones in NYC. They are beautifully upholstered and covered in pristine white lace panels. The driver wears clean white gloves while driving and is extremely polite and courteous and there is NO tipping. There is only one thing that can get him really upset and that is if you slam the passenger door shut as you exit the cab because  this door is designed to shut automatically. It took a few annoyed looks for me to remember to never shut the taxi door. 

We were so fearless in Japan, we traveled everywhere. We would just take a map, load the car and drive out. Never mind that the moment you left central Tokyo, the signs turned Japanese and no one spoke English. That's how great it was. Hiroshima to Sapporo, Kyoto to Nagano prefecture, we traveled a lot. After 4 years there, it was time to move on. I have many Indian friends in Tokyo, who have made it their home. They run electronics businesses, restaurants, jewelry businesses or work for organizations. But for me it could never be permanent.

East River from my apartment

Well, we landed in the Big Apple, right in midtown, Park Avenue. I wondered, how would I ever live here. It was so intimidating; the fast paced tap-tap-tap of high heels on the streets, the crazy tipping culture, the constant wailing of sirens, the aggressive 'have a nice day' s thrown in your direction! But all that changed when we moved into the much more residential Upper East Side apartment. What a great life, friendly doormen, grocery staff, laundry guys and neighbors. A great book club with my new friends, and lot of old friends who had congregated in NYC made life wonderful. It was the city culture that I was used to from Mumbai and so I felt so much more comfortable here. Yet some things one has to adapt to; Get used to greeting people whether it is the coffee and bagel vendor or the corner fruit seller. Shoot out greetings clearly as a mere formality, but its important to do it. Each time you enter or exit your apartment block, spend a minute saying hello to the building staff. They will be your friends throughout. I returned to my apartment building after 7 years but they all remembered me and it was very nice chatting with all of them. The most wonderful thing that I learnt is that wherever you are from, whatever may be your appearance and accent, you will soon consider yourself a New Yorker, because no other city will accept you with wide open arms as will NYC.  Its truly a great immigrant experience, a real melting pot. 

Its a tough choice, London, Tokyo or New York...............when my heart is always roaming the streets of Mumbai, jumping in and out of BEST buses and wandering through the rooms in my parents home. I have not even written about Mumbai (part two), Manila and now Maryland, that would make for a very long blog piece! 

London, Tokyo, New York, legendary cities, unparalleled experiences, but the mad chaos of the Big Apple and the personal space you create there never leaves you. Would go back in a heartbeat.